books to read this season

Posted on May 27, 2014 by Kate Motaung

Deidra Riggs aptly dubbed this year, “The Year of the Books.”

After being inspired by Jennifer Dukes Lee’s list of Summer Reading recommendations, I decided to post a list of my own. (Granted, there is a significant amount of overlap, I admit. Apparently we have a very similar taste in books.)

However, since a sizable chunk of my readership resides in the southern hemisphere, I’ve decided not to call it a Summer Reading list, as many of you are heading into winter and will soon be sitting in front of the fire place drinking

Whether you’re donning sandals or slippers these next few months, do yourself a favor and settle down with one (or all) of these books:

Team Us: Marriage Together

by Ashleigh Slater

Watch this space! I had the privilege of pre-reading a copy of this soon-to-be released book by Ashleigh Slater, and I’ll be posting a review later this week.

As an appetizer, this is an easy-to-read book, filled with encouragement to think of yourself and your spouse as members of the same team.

In a world where tension and internal competition between couples are rife, this is a much-needed book and is likely to bless and enhance many marriages in the months and years to come.

Stay tuned for more ..

A Fall of Marigolds

by Susan Meissner

I fell in love with Susan Meissner’s writing when I read her novel, A Lady in Waiting. Her latest book, A Fall of Marigolds, was no exception.

In fact, I received a copy that I had won in a blog giveaway the day before Mother’s Day, got a tummy bug, stayed in bed and read the whole thing within 24 hours. It was captivating.

With masterful grace, Susan weaves the stories of two women from different generations together in a tale of loss, grief, healing, and hope.

Her story caused the depths of empathy to be stirred within me, and kept me thinking about the characters long after I put it down.

Warrior in Pink: A Story of Cancer, Community, and the God Who Comforts

by Vivian Mabuni

Providentially, I won a copy of this moving story on another blog giveaway, and I’m convinced it was meant to be. I wrote some of my impressions in a review that can be found here.

If you know anyone who has been affected by breast cancer in any way, this book is for you.

Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected about Being a Mom

by Lisa-Jo Baker

If you’ve clicked on this blog before, you’ve likely caught me gushing about this book far too many times already.

Like here.

And here.

Oh gosh, and here, too.

And did I mention I got to interview Lisa-Jo, as well? Post here.

A Promise in Pieces

by Emily Wierenga

If you’re looking for a gentle, moving work of fiction, look no further.

I’ve written two posts about Emily Wierenga’s A Promise in Pieces — one on my blog, and one for Ungrind Webzine.

The writing is so graceful and fluid, it will carry you from page to page without you even noticing.

Just read it; you can thank me later. 😉

Compared to Her: How to Experience True Contentment

by Sophie deWitt

Sophie deWitt’s Compared to Her is one of the most searched for posts I get on my blog. If you’re female and you’ve ever struggled with comparing yourself to other women, you will definitely be able to glean much from this gem.

My interview with my friend Sophie can be found here.

Seekers of the Lost Boy

by Taryn Hayes

This middle grade children’s novel is the perfect holiday read, either as a family or to give to your kids to read on their own.

The story is set in South Africa, and follows a homeschooling family as they seek to find the original writer of a message in a bottle. This book is not only enjoyable to read, but is also very educational and thought-provoking. Highly recommended.

Read my full review here.

Books that are on my “Must Read” list:

Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Sparkly, Safe Faith is No Longer Enough

by Kristen Welch

Kristen Welch is the author of the We Are THAT Family blog, and founder of The Mercy House in Kenya. I have the utmost respect for Kristen’s worldview, and particularly her parenting philosophy as she shares it on her blog.

All of the reviews I’ve read of this book so far have been glowing, and everyone says you will not be the same after you’ve read it.

Take the challenge, and say Yes.

Atlas Girl: Finding Home in the Last Place I Thought to Look

by Emily Wierenga

I’m thrilled to be on the launch team for this upcoming memoir, and even more thrilled to be getting a review copy in the mail very soon.

I adore Emily’s writing voice, her gentle spirit, and her masterful, graceful way with word pictures. I had the pleasure of reading the first two chapters already, and they are dripping with beauty. I’ve picked up snippets of her compelling story through her blog, but look forward to reading this memoir, particularly as it addresses a topic dear to my heart:

Home.

The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful

by Myquillyn Smith (a.k.a. “The Nester”)

I admit, I followed the hype about this book, but didn’t really intend to pick it up until I read Lisa-Jo Baker’s post about it. I had assumed it was more of an interior design book, and .. well .. that’s not really my thing.

But after reading about the impact this book had on Lisa-Jo, she persuaded me to request it from the library.

Return to Me

by Lynn Austin

Speaking of the library, I was walking past the Express Book shelf this evening on my way to the Children’s section, and this book jumped off the shelf into my bag.

It couldn’t help itself.

It just knew that Lynn Austin is in my Top Three Favorite Christian Fiction authors, so it just had to land itself in my bag.

I read the entire Chronicles of the Kings series years ago, and not only did they leave a lasting impression, but they caused my understanding of Old Testament history to be much richer and far more cohesive.

I’ve read more Lynn Austin books than my ten fingers can count, and all have been delightful. If you don’t read this one, read something of hers. She’s incredibly gifted.

***

Well, that’s it from me for now ..

Happy reading!

when you wish you had what they have ..

Posted on October 11, 2013 by Kate Motaung

As quickly as I signed into Facebook, I regretted the click of my mouse.

Front and center, in perfectly clear megapixels, was the most adorably decorated baby’s room I’d ever seen. You know, the kind that only exists in magazines.

Instantly, my inner being was fragmented into dozens of conflicting emotions: giddiness, awe, wonder, appreciation … but clawing its way to the top of the pile was the green-eyed monster.

Yep, I admit it.

I was jealous.

I had left the garage door of my heart open and unguarded, and envy had climbed the ladder, passed the lump in my throat, and perched itself in the hayloft of my mind.

I was jealous that (at least some of) my Facebook friends could afford pristinely decorated Pottery Barn nurseries, pastel-stenciled walls and color-coordinated crib linen. I admired the photos from a distance, with a secret longing clinging to the walls of my heart.

But it didn’t happen just that once. In fact, it happened almost every time I returned ‘home’ from South Africa for a visit to the States.

I would walk into my friends’ homes and drool over their matching living room suites, their ornate bedroom sets and spacious kitchens. It went beyond mere admiration. I coveted what they had.

Then I would leave, and inevitably, reality would brush over my face and clear my mind with the breeze coming in through the open car windows.

The truth was, I didn’t really want that. It wasn’t me.

God has given me everything I have ever needed, and so much more.

Every time, I would have to repent of my ingratitude and discontentment, and ask God realign my heart to His will.

In the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter whether my kids’ diapers were changed on mahogany Pottery Barn changing tables, or a secondhand desk with nicks and scrapes.

The level of happiness and love in our home was not contingent upon the size of our kitchen.

The amount of warmth and hospitality within our walls didn’t depend on whether our couch matched our chairs, or whether we even had a couch at all …

On the flip side, those who do have beautiful things shouldn’t feel guilty or ‘less holy’ because of what they’ve been blessed with, but should enjoy their possessions as gifts from God, and seek to use them to His glory.

Philippians 4:19 says that our God will supply all our needs, according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.

May He strengthen us to resist envy, jealousy and covetousness, and to learn the secret of being content in every situation and circumstance – even when it means no perfectly decorated baby’s room.

P.S. If you struggle with comparing yourself to others, I highly recommend the book, Compared to Her, by Sophie DeWitt.

This is Day 11 of ‘Defining Home in 31 Days.’ Click here for a contents page of all posts in this series.

Photo credits: Brett Neilson and Caleb Zahnd

compared to her – an interview with author sophie de witt

Posted on January 6, 2013 by Kate Motaung

In her new book, Compared to Her: How to experience true contentment, Sophie DeWitt describes what she has labeled CCS – Compulsive Comparison Syndrome. Perhaps the title alone strikes a chord with you. Within the pages of her book, Sophie helpfully points out how most of us as women struggle either with a ‘looking up comparison’ or a ‘looking down’ version of the same sin. She explains the symptoms, effects, causes and treatment to overcome a life of compulsive comparison and move to experience true contentment in Christ.

In my opinion, this book hits the nail on the head. It cuts straight to the heart of many of our inward thoughts as women – as we walk through the grocery store and compare ourselves to the clothes, hair, make-up and shoes of other shoppers; as we enter our friends’ houses and compare our own tidiness and décor to theirs; as we sit at dinner parties and compare careers, husbands, achievements, and parenting techniques to other guests.

The component that I most appreciate about Compared to Her is the way Sophie so clearly articulates the centrality of the gospel throughout each chapter. I wholeheartedly recommend this as an excellent, easy, thought-provoking read – one that I have already bought as a gift for several of my own friends, both Christian and non-Christian.

I’ve had the privilege of getting to know Sophie and her lovely family in Cape Town over the past few years, and recently had an opportunity to ask her a few questions about her new book.

The last book you wrote was on one-to-one discipleship. Of all the subjects you could have explored for this book, what made you decide to delve into the topic of comparison?

Primarily my own struggle with comparison over many years (being the middle of three feisty sisters didn’t help!), coupled with the apparent lack of biblical material specifically engaging with the issue of comparison and rivalry. I got the chance to speak on the subject at a couple of women’s events in 2010 and it seemed to touch a nerve with so many women (both at the events and others I spoke to about it). The more I continued to wrestle biblically with the subject, the clearer it became to me that the gospel has real practical help to offer sufferers like me of what I’ve called, ‘Compulsive Comparison Syndrome,’ and I was encouraged by friends to write about it to encourage others.

How did the compilation of this work help (or challenge) you personally in terms of your own spiritual life?

I think there’s nothing like ‘naming and shaming’ a sin to intensify your own battle against it! It has been quite a hard process to analyze the depths and layers of my own sinful heart on this issue … and to see how very ugly it is. It’s all about wanting to be at the center, and I’ve seen more clearly than ever how incredibly proud I really am and how much I still trust in worldly things for my significance, satisfaction and security (like I know I’m going to have to fight the temptation not to let book sales figures or feedback affect my sense of significance in any way)! Positively, I have found myself growing in contentment in Christ as a result of the thinking and praying I’ve been doing – it’s been so liberating to grasp that it is in Him alone that we find true and lasting blessing, for this life and eternity. So, overall it’s been a great opportunity to grow in Christ-likeness – which is always both a wonderful and a jolly hard experience, isn’t it?!

On page 39 of your book, you write, “There is a way to know, to experience, to feel contentment. And it doesn’t come from CCS. It comes from finding a way to live without it.” For those who haven’t yet read the book, what encouragement can you offer to those desiring to break free from a life of constant, compulsive comparisons?

Measuring ourselves against others based on our criteria of choice, in order to determine our ‘position’ in life , seems to offer us hope (“maybe, just maybe I’m not as much of a failure/as ugly/as sinful/as I think I am”). But the result of these comparisons tends to be either a temporary and very vulnerable sense of satisfaction or a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction – actually often both senses together, but for different areas of our lives. So there is great deception involved: the higher position we crave won’t deliver the security, satisfaction or significance we think it will.

Breaking free of this destructive compulsion involves seeing through the deception and trusting that it is in Christ alone that we will find true and lasting blessing. My prayer is that the book will help the reader apply the gospel to the problem and learn to live a life of contentment in Christ, able to truly celebrate difference and diversity rather than judge or envy it.

You’ve dedicated this book to your daughter, Molly. What practical steps do you hope to take in your role as Molly’s mother to steer her away from the rampant scourge of CCS as she grows up?

A good, and very tricky, question! She is now five and at pre-school and CCS is increasingly taking a hold of her. She wants to do the extra-mural activities her friends are doing. She wants this girl’s outfit, that girl’s puppy, the same scooter as her best friend, and so on. We are just waiting for her to start saying ‘at least I’m better at this or that than her…’, or ‘I wish I was prettier/thinner, etc’ and then we have a full-on case on our hands! Depressingly, this is actually inevitable because at the heart of the syndrome is a sinful, proud heart that wants self at the center and looks to idols or false gods to satisfy its desires.

When the first comments came, I told her that we all have our own lives to live and that we couldn’t afford to do the same extra-murals and that she shouldn’t be greedy wanting the same toys as her friends and she just had to be grateful for what she has. But I realized that wasn’t actually a deep enough answer for her if I really want to introduce her to the only source of true contentment. So I’ve started teaching her that Jesus is our Creator and our boss and He gives us all we need in life. I’ve told her that it won’t make her a better or much happier person if she goes to sports or has a dog; God loves her and forgives her and she must live a life that makes Him smile.

But I ‘m always listening out for and appreciate any help from more godly and experienced moms who have been helping their children deal with this issue for many years!

What role do you think accountability could play in combatting CCS?

It’s tricky – on one level, it’s a very personal struggle and requires lots of open-hearted wrestling before the Lord as we examine our own hearts and motives. It’s also quite a shameful one as the truth of our pride and idolatry comes to light. But the Bible does say we need to encourage one another daily because of the deceitfulness of sin (Heb. 3:13). We are to spur one another on to love and good works (Heb. 10:24). We are to speak the truth in love to one another (Eph. 4:15). So yes, accountability in the sense of sharing the struggle with another Christian friend or two is a great idea if it helps us to do this sort of honest, gospel encouragement better.

My husband helps me a lot, but it’s also great to have those friends who will call you up on your CCS when they notice you succumbing to the deception again. “Wow! Look at that birthday cake – she’s really raised the bar for us all. How depressing!” How might you help your friend at that point? “No, friend, it’s not a competition. She has a creative gift; she probably loves doing that sort of thing; maybe she has more time to spare. Who knows? But remember that this cake really is irrelevant for your child’s birthday celebrations. Fear God not man!”

Having been raised in England, and now living in Cape Town, what do you enjoy most about South Africa, and what do you miss most about the UK?

I really love the vibe of South Africa – I love the way it forces you to engage with profound life questions and doesn’t let you get away with superficial answers. The issues such as politics, poverty, vulnerable children, housing and sanitation, and racial reconciliation are so complex, messy, challenging and yet draw out amazing responses from individuals and communities. It is so inspiring to see how people have stepped up to the plate here and been creative and sacrificial in addressing various needs. It’s also inspiring to meet so many individuals who have been through so much hardship in their lives and yet still keep trusting and serving the Lord, and who are able to forgive those who have wronged them. These encounters have enriched my life greatly.

Also, moving out of your own culture gives you an amazing opportunity to engage with the gospel and its application to our lives in a fresh way. You realise that you have been holding on to some things and not engaging with other things, because of what is ‘normal’ around you, and this realisation gives you a great chance to grow in your faith and how you live it out.

It helps that Cape Town is probably THE most beautiful city in the world with so much to offer in terms of fun days out, arts and culture, food and wine (no, I’m not on commission from the Tourist Board – I just genuinely love the place). Apart from missing beloved family and friends in the UK, I miss the supermarkets, free health care and central heating most I think (yes it gets very cold here in the winter, but the summer weather does compensate for this more than adequately!).

Sophie DeWitt is the author of One to One: A Discipleship Handbook and Compared to Her: How to experience true contentment. She used to work with students in London, and now lives in Cape Town, South Africa. Sophie is married to a South African pastor and they have three children.